Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
