When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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