My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
