i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
