I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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