I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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