I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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