I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
