just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
