I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
