what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
you never un-have a 4some
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
