We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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