i think my mom watched the whole time
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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