Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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