Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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