You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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