I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
