my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
