I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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