I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
