I'm gonna have a badass scar
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The air was thick with penises
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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