Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
