hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
