You can't special order awesome
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
