Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
