I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
