We're facebook friends in real life
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
