True but thats because hes a fetus.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
