I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
