We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
