i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
