i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
