I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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