Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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