I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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