You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Everclear isn't food dammit
I have tasted many bathrooms
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
