Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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