Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
