All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
