i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
