Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
