just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
