we have pet lesbian snakes
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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