You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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