at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Randomize
