after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
