check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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