i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
