Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
