You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
