Duck Duck Cougar?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
