I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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