On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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