can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
