I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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