dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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