Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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