It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize