Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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