Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
