You just made me feel so damn special
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
