I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
