You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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