Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize