i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
