a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
