margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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