is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize