Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
