just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
