I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
