Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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