Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
