I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
