He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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