I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
